How to Make Hard Changes Easier!

Do you ever have people telling you to move on, clear the decks, “get rid” of things or people that are not in alignment with you? It could be a person, thing, job, opportunity, whatever you are pursuing. 

It’s hard to make a big change when you are caught up in a sea of challenges, some overt and some nagging below the surface. But it is possible, you owe it to yourself, and you can do this more easily when you operate in a conscious way. Today we’ll be covering:

• How to spot the warning signs that need your attention
• What messages you can use to get yourself unstuck
• How to take action and move forward in your life with less friction.

Some hard changes can be easy to spot – let’s say you are miserable at your job. Some would say just quit, and some would say wait it out until you have something new. The best barometer of all the people you ask is YOU. What is your level of discomfort and your tolerance for uncertainty? For some, that causes huge stress;  for others, this can feel like freedom.

One thing to ask is how comfortable are you is your financial situation?

You could have a high risk tolerance. While you may have no financial reserves, you trust that you’ll work hard and find a new job. 
Or if you are risk-averse, and have savings that you can rely on, that might make the decision easier – 3 months of savings is a good start and gives you peace of mind. If you don’t have that AND your situation is mentally unbearable, making you feel physically and mentally distraught, then find a way to get some financial support if you can, and listen to your heart. 

That situation is obvious, but there are others that may have hidden pressures that you don’t want to acknowledge. Is a friend treating you badly, are you feeling angry or sad but it’s easier to ignore the situation rather than deal with it?

The second question to ask yourself is how do you feel in your body? 

The truth is that your body is already reading the situation, and feeling the effects, even if your mind is running away. Insomnia, Headaches, body aches, anxiety, fatigue, gut issues – pay attention, your body is trying to talk to you. You might want to journal this question and see what comes through. Acceptance of the situation helps you decide how to handle it. As Dan Siegel says, “You have to name it to tame it.” Acknowledging and accepting what is, allows you to come into clarity about your chosen next steps.

What can you ask yourself to break free?

There are some situations, such as with family, where you cannot just run away. So you have the opportunity to reframe how you deal with the situation. If you are being gaslighted or emotionally abused,  you can try not to see that person...but if you run into them at the grocery store or a gathering, how can you handle it in the strongest way?

Instead of asking why is this always happening to me, what’s wrong with me that…; (turning it in on yourself) or what’s wrong with them that they…” (blaming others) ask:

• What am I willing to do for myself to try to make this better?
• If you’re not sure, look at past few months, if you are justifying or making excuses, something’s off
• What am I learning here about what I will put up with and what I won’t?  The invitation is to set some boundaries, which leads to the question:
• How could this be actually making me stronger?
• How would my best self respond?

We have a choice - we can dwell in self-pity or use it as a launchpad to grow.

Life happens – remember to be self-compassionate, and know that

HOW I INTERPRET A SITUATION IS UP TO ME!

Take Action – start on the inside, then out

Be aware of your thoughts, your feelings, and your beliefs - they become your actions. Repeated thoughts lead to actions.

Another approach is that you can also act your way into good thinking (do good, feel good). Anyone who has volunteered knows how this can shift your mood.

One thing is sure – what we focus on grows.  

The body needs to be safe in making a change, and to do so it must feel familiar.

When we focus on the usual familiar disempowering thoughts, we reinforce that as a habit of thinking. And the opposite is equally true, and much more empowering.

So here’s the challenge: Think of what you want, come into appreciation for what you already have and then focus on what you are creating, As you practice this strategy, making THIS your go-to, your familiar, this makes it safer to change, and creates space for growth and positive movement.

Take the challenge

• Think of what you want and why
• Interpret any obstacles as guides to help you course-correct
• Appreciate what you have, including your vision. (You are receiving this for a reason.)
• Focus on one small action that moves you forward.

YOU CAN DO THIS. Soon you will see that not only is change less scary; you are making these shifts in alignment with your true nature. Do it slow or go all out - the pacing is up to you. One thing to remember, when you are true to yourself, and move into action, the best is yet to come.