Boost Your Mood: Navigating Uncertainty with Resilience
There is so much going on these days that is so easy to get swept into the chaos of not knowing what’s next. It’s normal to feel unsettled, uncertain or a little blue. What to do?
Give Yourself Permission
- To not have the answers
- To rest
- To be human
- To be compassionate with yourself
- To know that you are not weak; you are recalibrating.
Remind Yourself to attend to your nervous system. That can mean taking deep breaths, into your belly area (diaphragmatic breathing), and allow the exhale to be longer than the inhale. This resets your parasympathetic nervous system. Here’s a good one: inhale for a count of 4. Hold for a count of 5, and exhale for a count of 6. Rinse and repeat.
If you have go to ways to come back to a more centered place, make time for that. Whether it's a warm bath, reading a book, connecting with a friend or whatever comes to mind, this is the time to build that into your day...
Remind yourself that life is more than passing circumstances. You are connected to something greater and can experience that energetic connection in nature or in stillness, in creativity, or in play. Moments of love and joy have a way of peeking through, even as you are recalibrating for something better. This is a wonderful reset to remind you of who you really are.
Name, Reframe and Reclaim
I have been speaking recently on the topic of “Master Your Energy: How to Finding Resilience and Joy in Challenging Times.” I introduced the Name, Reframe and Reclaim Method. Though it takes some time to explain fully, here are the bones of it:
Name It: What you are feeling, what is the emotion? Dr Dan Siegal coined the phrase, "Name it to tame it." Awareness is the first step to positive change.
Reframe It: Imagine yourself lying on green grass, gazing at the passing clouds in the sky. Observe how they change and dissipate. Emotions are the same way. They actually only last 90 seconds after the hormones related to fear or anger for example, are released. It’s only when we think of them over and over (ruminate) that they take on more energy and affect our mood.
So… the invitation is to observe them. EX: “I can see how I get angry/fearful/frozen when___ tries to press their point.” Observe rather than engage. When you observe an emotion, you are less apt to be swept up into it. That guards your energy and protects your peace. Think of the clouds of emotion passing through the vastness of the sky.
You, and your true nature are like the sky - constant; and your thoughts and emotions pass through like clouds, ever changing.) When you notice the clouds (rather than identify as them) they become lighter and more airy, just as you are creating more spaciousness in your life.
"You are the sky. Everything else – it's just the weather.” – Pema Chodron
Reclaim it: Taking action gets us out of our heads and into our bodies. Take one small action. Small is better to remind you of what you are capable of, and by choosing one area you sidestep overwhelm, and become more present for what is important to you. One caveat: the human tendency is to self-judge. So, approach this action as a learner; this is a no self-criticism zone. Instead, be proud of yourself for taking action. Give yourself the time to build a new muscle, and notice the natural growth in your confidence, clarity, and self-trust.
You deserve to chart your own course – these will help you navigate bumpy waters, and remind you can move forward in any situation. And finally, things do get better. History is full of cycles. Consider taking a longer view.
Also be ready for good surprises. There are great people you have not yet met, and wonderful experiences that show up in unusual ways.. Stay open to the good, and you will see more of it.