7 Ways to Embrace Midlife & Be Happier – Part 1

Happiness is a perspective, and it is also a habit. it's more instinctive than you may think.  

Have you noticed that as we get older, we may be changing some old, ingrained habits, and we really don’t care nearly as much about some of the things that bothered us before.

• Like what will other people think.
• Like getting everything on our to do list done.
• Like exhausting ourselves to please all the people in our life.
• Things are shifting...

Today we'll look at some habits that can ADD vibrancy and bandwidth to our lives. I’m curious which of these do you resonate with the most?

Happier people:

1.  Have Healthy Boundaries

We don’t invest a lot of their time and energy into people or situation that are unsupportive, unhealthy, or misaligned. We know the difference between someone who is going through the motions, and someone who genuinely cares. We have learned how to set boundaries and protect our peace. Sometimes when things are intense, I have to step out and meditate, or go into nature. What is your go-to?

2.  Don’t Take Things Personally

At the same time, we don’t take things as personally, and realize that what people say and do reflects that person, and where they are in their healing and their life. It’s not about you. So, the words don’t sting as much, the upset reactions are more fleeting. How others show up, has very little to do with us. It’s just not personal. Have you had a recent experience when that came through for you?

3.  Know the Value of Friendship

With empty nesting, and people leaving jobs or deciding to move, change happens. So, if friends are like flowers, we want to water the soil of our good friends, even if we’re apart. Stay in touch, plan to meet, have regular touch bases.

As I wrote this , I reminded myself to reach out to a friend, and I’m happy I did. Also its great when we welcome new friends, of any age, multigenerational. And one thing we know, in times of crisis – it’s friends who make all the difference.

4. Care about Making a Difference

We are open, even passionate about certain causes (it can be as simple as being kind), and we are not afraid to go deep into things that matter. This infuses a sense of purpose, and helps us know that we matter too, just as every person does.

It helps us too. Here’s a story of a 75-year-old woman who volunteered every Wednesday at an afterschool program, and everyone loved her, not just the kids, but the other volunteers too, especially a 20-year-old woman, who one day asked her – What is your secret? You’re like a magnet – everyone just wants to be around you. The woman said, “Well, it’s hard to say, and I don’t tell this to others, but the situation is, I have cancer and I want to make the most of the time I have – these children turn up the love, and I just want to give it back to them. That’s the most important thing. And when I’m here, I forget about my problems – this is the best time of my week.

5.  Give Their Our Critic a Leave of Absence Permanently!

We are no longer brainwashed into ruminating on our “so-called faults” but counter that thinking with feeling ever more comfortable in our own skin. It can be challenging in this insidiously ageist culture, but we’re learning to appreciate our hearts, our bodies, and our ability to be emotionally resilient, and get through challenges. Beating ourselves up – not going there.

Happier people make it a practice to let go of judging themselves or others. It’s a process and it alleviates so much stress. In what ways are  you starting to be kinder to yourself?

6. Validate Ourselves Instead of Looking Outside

We value inner soul stuff, like connecting with our authentic style rather than fashion trends – we know ourselves better now. It’s also about connecting to our essence. That can be time alone -I love my alone time; I actually need it. And there’s a difference between enjoying solitude and being lonely.

We are more interested in meaningful touchstones, like nature, like flashes of insight, communion with something greater, instead of the coveting the commercial symbols of success.

Sometimes just a walk, grounds us into who we are. We know what we know, and we’re learning to trust what is true for ourselves.

7.  Open to wonder, curiosity, and GRATITUDE.

Instead of being trapped in the “same old, same old,” we are on the lookout for what stirs our soul – it could be the first flower of spring, trying a course or activity we never had time for, or were too uncomfortable to consider. I am starting strength training; I want to get into dance – that’s just the start of it.

We are curious, about people, about perspectives and making the most of each day. It’s also helpful to find small things to celebrate, and that brings immense reserves of gratitude, which can reframe a whole situation, and even a whole life.

Let me know in the comments what resonates most for you.