6 Qualities of the Self-Empowered

When you’re at, nearing or above 40, there’s usually a LOT going on in your life: you may feel you never have time for yourself, you’re always putting out fires, and your body is doing a number like you’ve never experienced. Today we’ll texplore all of these as we talk about taking your power and your energy back.

Though we often use the term self-care. I want to say that in this conversation, self-care is not just about taking a bubble bath or putting cucumbers on your eyes. This is a deeper conversation – it’s about taking care of your essential SELF – and realigning with what allows you to thrive on every level.

Have you noticed that self-empowered people respect their time, their health, and their energy.? Some questions to prioritize – "What will I say yes to, and what am I on the fence about, and what feels like it just won’t work." 

Can you list your top 3 areas that you really feel good about investing your time and energy in?  For me it’s health, creative expression and relationships. And these may change over time. Let's jump in:

1.Self-Empowered People Respect their Time, Health & Energy

How do you take care of:

• Your health: nutrition, fitness, sleep
• Your emotional life
• Your family
• Your relationships
• Your spiritual life
• Your work life
• Your friendships
• What or who gives you energy, what or who depletes it.

Do an energy audit in all these areas, and see what your major time commitments are, and what you can shift around.

The invitation is to say NO to things that are less important to you. People who respect their time and energy get to design a life that they are excited to be part of.

2.They Listen to Their Own Intuition, Not Others’ Opinions

“Love yourself so you don’t lose yourself to opinions, people, places, and opportunities that are not for you.” – Vex King  

I tend to try to make the best of a situation, and see the best in people, but if I have a strong feeling that a situation or person would be hurtful to me or my family, my antenna is out, and I’m choosing to pay attention. When I don’t listen to my intuition, that’s when problems come up. Self-empowered people never regret listening to themselves. If a situation doesn’t turn out exactly as planned – they will have learned about themself which is so valuable – as the stakes are always higher.  They know themselves best, so trust that. They can consider what others have to say, but the final decision is always up to them.

 And if they’re in a situation where they are not being treated well, they speak their mind, and if the pattern repeats, they are willing to walk away. Having a support team is always a good thing too.

3.Self-Empowered People Are Self-Aware and Self-Accepting

It is said that we see the world the way we see ourselves. Have you ever noticed that the more people accept themselves, the more they can accept other people too?

They also appreciate their uniqueness, their bodies and their quirks - maybe even their capacity to love... 

Self-Empowered people have taken some turns around the sun and have a sense of how resilient they are. They know they have made it through tough situations, and that they can usually figure out what to do. Do  you realize how resilient you are? How many times have you bounced back from unexpected challenges?

 Here’s a challenge, and it’s hard for most people:

• Write a list of everything that you like about yourself (and this does not include looks or accomplishments).
• What qualities do you appreciate about yourself? (Good listener, zest for life, compassionate, big picture thinker, gratitude for the small stuff, never give up, creative, warm, focused, inclusive…)

Regarding mistakes, self-empowered people realize that if they made a mistake, it’s OK to be accountable, to apologize, and to learn from it. They work to let any shame go. They realize they are not there anymore.

4.If they are feeling off, self-empowered people don’t just suffer, they gather more information and get into action.

Let’s take menopause as one example. Even though it’s an expected stage of life, there is still so much shame around it. Most people have no idea what to expect, and how to deal with it. And this is for men too – andropause is the male version of menopause, and people are not yet talking about it.  I’ll do a deep dive into this, but for now, here are a few areas the empowered people investigate:

• nutrition,
• herbs,
• for some hormone therapy is an option
• exercise,
• weight-lifting,
• social support

It’s time to normalize this part of life: menopause/andropause is not a disease; and shouldn't be treated as such. On the contrary, it can open us to a deeper connection with our own changing priorities… and that’s a very good thing.

5. Empowered people know the power of kindness and compassion. Empowered people can make others feel better or see things in a new way. They know that their words matter and have meaning. They can be direct – there’s no time or patience to play games. They speak with authenticity, vulnerability and honesty which reveals an inner strength. Their presence demonstrates that kindness is a superpower.

6. Empowered People Respect Life. Empowered people are not cocky. The don’t take life for granted. They recognize that they have control over some things; and for things they can’t control, they prefer to go with the rhythm of life.. Empowered people know that life is always changing, evolving…same as you.